Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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