you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
