I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
