Need sex. Gaining weight.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
