similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
