Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize