GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
