I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
