does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize