We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
