am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
