Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
