I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
