just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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