i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize