It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
