STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I looked at my own cervix.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize