fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
