I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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