there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize