i can't believe i had my finger in that
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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