Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
how does that bad decision feel?
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