Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
