I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
