i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
