Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
