Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
