Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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