Whod you bang
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
