That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
