Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize