Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
