thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A+ Viking dick
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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