Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
