I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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