Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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