She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize