Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
