YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
