Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
