Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
