It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it glows. i had to have it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
