In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
nutella sex= disaster
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
