At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
