Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
