a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
