peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
