I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
