she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
