I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
