He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
