Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
