I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
