Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
