Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
