I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize