Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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